We signed a player yesterday. We put in a half-decent display the other night. But can we be happy or relieved by any of that? I’m really struggling with it.
They may have found a way of addressing the embargo, and the opening games may have captured a portion of our attention, but we’ve still been shafted across the board and the vengeful person in me simply can’t forget that.
People say that there’s no point worrying about things you can’t control. But this isn’t a parking ticket from the Sainsbury’s car park – we’ve lost more points, we’ve gone through a summer of turmoil and we’re left with no football club in Coventry this season. That is a huge deal – shrugging off such a combination of injustice just isn’t a possibility for me.
There’s no forgiving and forgetting from this Coventry fan. I am angry – truly livid that we have to play our games in Northampton this season – all because a bunch of people with no emotional involvement with CCFC have been empowered to disrupt our lives in this way.
A non-football watcher will look at that statement and scoff at the dramatic nature of it. Disrupt our lives? A football team? Don’t be daft.
But I’ve been going to Coventry City with my Dad for 20 years; been a season ticket holder since I was a little lad cheering on a Premiership side. This year I’m barely going to be able to watch a game with him; other people around the region risk missing out on similar routines.
People support a local team because of the feeling of community pride, but also because it’s convenient. Most people don’t have the energy to be away fans every week. Yeah, we can all make the effort for the odd away game, but a trek to Northampton? Me and my Dad simply can’t manage it.
And also, crucially – I don’t want to.
I can’t support this move, and by going to that stadium, making that sort of effort; it feels to me as though I’m supporting something I feel nothing but disgust for. It makes no sense for me to pay money to stand there in an absolute rage at the situation (even more so than usual).
I don’t question or judge other fans’ decisions to go – who am I to do that? As a statement, of course it’d be nice is there was total agreement. But as I’ve alluded to, this all comes down to your personal perspective and how travelling to Northampton affects you, and more importantly, how it makes you feel.
For some, it’s not as much as an issue. Coventry are playing at Northampton – they want to be there. I’m certain additional fans will be wooed to turn up by the risk of missing out, as well.
The only person I can speak for is me. And for me, it’s a problem. It really is.
But it’s not just the move to Sixfields that causes me anger. Yes, that’s a major source of complaint, but this is a cumulative sense of crossness. Every time we receive a blow, it affects me the same. The lack of players, the lack of points, the lack of ambition, the lack of a stadium, the lack of a home. It’s all bad. It’s all terrible. It’s all contributed to my current stance and mindset, and until I start to get some sense of improvement or sign of progress to a positive resolution, I don’t envisage this stance changing.
Believe me, I hate being this moody all the time, but that’s the way this entire episode has impacted on my life as a fan.
Being unable to make sense of it doesn’t help things either – in fact, it adds to the helplessness. I’m nowhere close to being used to any of this yet.
I’m just angry when I think about CCFC at the moment. Relentlessly, frustratingly, needlessly angry.