They were only in charge a month (there’s me pre-empting an imminent managerial change-around), but the results of Shawsy and Carsy have left a lasting impression on the season, squad and fans alike.

The Caretakers have taken what we were told was a promotion-capable squad, and turned them into a bunch of swines not fit to grace the Midland Alliance. We are scientifically the worst team in history League One right now.

Round of applause for the coaches.

OK, I’m being facetious about an upsetting situation; it’s clearly not all their fault. Let’s face it, the player’s have been just as bloody awful this season too. But how have our temporary bosses dealt with the troubles and obvious tactical struggles encountered on the pitch during their time steering the ship? Is there any possible explanation for this hellish shambles of a team?

Well, after having a giant cry following Shrewsbury, I got thinking about the touchline dynamics. We’re all fans, and while we get angry, clamorous and cross, when all’s said and done, we just want to understand. What exactly are they doing with the players? Can we work out what’s going on behind the scenes? Has Richard Shaw taken any notice of the Paul Gascoigne Soccer Skills book I sent him in the post?

It doesn’t look like it.

After hours of deliberation (or 2 minutes scribbling), I feel I’ve managed to conceptualise quite accurately their approach, based on all the evidence on the pitch. Please excuse the sensational complexity of these visuals, but sometimes a Sharpie does the job best.

Just think of me as a cross between Russell Crowe’s character in A Beautiful Mind, and Rolf Harris (before his days on Animal Hospital).

Leave a Reply